Since what happened last Sunday, the joy of finishing another marathon feels a little tangled. My partner’s race didn’t go as hoped, and I’ve been replaying the day in my head, wondering if I could have warned her sooner that the 7 km course splits away from the full. She studied the map herself, yet the turn still slipped past. I keep asking myself whether a clearer reminder from me — not just telling her to go to the left side or calling her — would have helped. I think I won’t participate in marathon races anymore in the near future.

The pattern is always the same: whenever I sign up for a kendo tournament or a marathon, I still hope she’ll be there to cheer me on. Yet it often feels as if she’s come mostly out of obligation. Something always goes wrong—bad weather, a tricky venue, or me not explaining the schedule clearly—and the day ends on a sour note. She says she won’t come again, and I’m left feeling guilty for asking. I’ve decided to stop putting that pressure on both of us. From now on I’ll enjoy these events on my own and let her choose, without prompting, if she wants to join.

🖱️ Did some work

🐖 Today is not a good day to work

📰 14:20 Started reading Dense Discovery #362

🎁 16:30 I’m glad to confirm that my souvenir was taken by my colleagues, just as I hoped. Thanks to my partner for picking this one for me.

🗺️ 16:50 Found a website of map quiz games

📖 17:20 Started reading 如何成为不完美主义者

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